By Emily Popek

Community Editor

When planning a wedding, the advice is always the same: start early and be organized. But this is usually easier said than done. Most brides-to-be have no trouble imagining themselves as little Martha Stewarts. "I will learn calligraphy and hand-write my invitations on homemade paper," she dreams as she sets up her wedding page on theknot.com and e-mails the link to everyone she has ever known.

But real life can get in the way of perfection. What about the bride whose fiance is about to be deployed to Iraq? Or the woman who is so busy she simply doesn’t have time to devote endless hours to planning? Or how about the woman who can’t find the pencil that’s stuck behind her ear, who has three sets of car keys and has lost all of them, who couldn’t organize herself out of a paper bag?

Here’s a road map for the not-so-perfect bride-to-be to steer her away from possible pitfalls and last-minute emergencies.

Even for a simple wedding, the to-do list can stretch out to fill several pages. But don’t hyperventilate yet. With a little creativity _ although not the kind that requires you to make your own wedding dress _ even a last-minute wedding can be pulled off with panache.

So where to start? If you’re really lacking in the organization department, consider hiring a wedding planner. A planner can help with just about everything, provided you’re ready to make some decisions and write some checks. This is especially helpful for someone who’s planning a wedding from halfway across the country.

There may not be a lot of planners listed in the Yellow Pages, but don’t fret. Most caterers offer more than just food _ many offer planning services, and even those that don’t can help with more than you might imagine, including decorating, arranging rentals and referring you to other vendors.

Having a caterer for The Big Day can go a long way toward staving off disaster, so it’s worth making this a priority. Lucy Townsend of L.M. Townsend Catering in Cooperstown rattled off a list of nightmares she had faced, including "portable toilets clogged and overflowing, bridal party members in a fist fight, bridal party members disappear and are found skinny-dipping in a pool, problem guests (crying, falling, sleeping, losing their shoes or clothes)" _ the list goes on and on, but she said the key to it all is "to plan each event down to the smallest detail so we haven’t created our own problems and have time to handle the unforeseeable ones." Better them than you, right?

Worst-case scenario tip: If your food falls through, dispatch friends and relatives to sub shops and/or delis. Sandwiches can be cut into appetizer-sized pieces _ ask the deli to do it for you _ and served on paper plates or napkins. Check with the venue first to make sure regulations don’t prohibit this. Play on their sympathies if necessary. If the venue won’t allow you to serve fresh food, set up a buffet line of prepackaged items _ small bags of pretzels, chips or popcorn, fruit cups, or other quick bites.

Speaking of venue, this can be one of the hardest parts. Churches book up quickly and may not be available at certain times of the year (Holy Week, Christmas, etc.).

This is where flexibility comes in. If you have your heart set on getting married in your church, this should be the first call you make, and you should be prepared for the worst. "Popular caterers and other vendors can sometimes fill their schedules several years in advance. Waiting until the last minute at a busy time of year will often result in disappointment," Townsend cautioned.

If time is of the essence, you may have to settle for something else _ like getting married Friday instead of Saturday, or in your parents’ backyard instead of in a church.

Booking the venue will help you make other decisions. If the local community center can only accommodate 100 people, your guest list may have to shrink to fit. Ditto food and decor: if you’re going to be married in a log cabin with no running water, barbecued chicken and glass jars full of daisies would not seem out of place.

Get creative. Think of anywhere nearby that has bathrooms and can hold a lot of people. Talk to everyone you know who’s married. Where did they have their reception? How much did it cost? How many guests did they have? Don’t be afraid to pry. Most people are happy to talk about their wedding, and their experiences are the most valuable tool you have.

Worst-case scenario tip: If you’re stuck for a venue, consider getting married at someone’s house (yours, your parents’, a neighbor who will be out of town and has a spare key under his doormat) or a house of government, such as city hall. A home wedding poses obvious challenges, such as space and seating. Fortunately, most people understand that home weddings are family affairs and won’t be insulted if they aren’t invited. Make sure you have seating for elderly or infirm guests. Able-bodied guests can stand. Keep the ceremony short.

If you go the municipal route, call to find out when the appropriate official _ a judge or mayor can perform the ceremony in New York state _ will be available. You and your fiance will need identification to get a marriage license, and witnesses must be present for the marriage. If you don’t have witnesses lined up, ask if one will be available on site. You can always celebrate with family and friends later.

With a venue and a caterer out of the way, the rest is just details _ like the dress. Every bride wants to look her best, but picking out the perfect dress can be overwhelming, especially on short notice. Fortunately, there is hope, according to Paula Fassler, owner of House of Brides in Oneonta.

"A last-minute bride is going to have to purchase something right off the rack that’s very close to her size, so alterations would be minor," Fassler said, adding that she’s helped plenty of hurried brides. "All of a sudden, the husband might be going off to war, or they might want to do a quick Vegas-style wedding."

In these situations, Fassler said she does everything possible to get the bride what she wants in whatever time is available.

So the bride who hasn’t already put a down payment on her dream dress need not fret. Help is out there, and it may be easier than you think to get something that will work.

Worst-case scenario tip: If a bridal shop can’t accommodate you, look for white (or off-white, or cream) formal dresses in department stores. Check thrift shops and consignment stores for wedding gowns. If you find something close to your size, call a local dry cleaner or tailor for alterations. See if a friend or family member has a dress you can borrow. Or go online: Sites such as

indiebride.com feature clothing swaps where you can pick up designer gowns at a substantial discount.

With the dress out of the way, it’s time to tackle flowers and rings.

"We’ve done (wedding flowers) within two days of the wedding; we’ve done it on the same day," said Seth Wildenstein, manager of Chris’ Flowers and Greenhouse in Walton. "Of course, the selection might not be as big as if they had planned it three months ahead," which is the time frame he recommends, but again, flexibility is key.

"Certainly we’ll do everything within our means to help them out, but you’re probably not going to be able to do orchids or the more fancy flowers on short notice," he said.

Worst-case scenario tip: If your florist falls through, don’t lose hope. You can pick up a dozen roses or other cut flowers at many grocery stores. Break the bouquet up and give one flower to each bridesmaid. Trim down another flower to use as a boutonniere, tie up the leftover flowers with a piece of ribbon, and you’re ready to walk down the aisle.

In most cases, a wedding wouldn’t be a wedding without the rings. But what if you need them in a hurry? Not to fear, says Reuben Wilde of Wolf Wilde Goldsmith.

"We can do something at the last minute. If we need to, we can pretty much drop everything and do what we need to do," Wilde said, but cautioned that longer lead time is better. "To be safe, customers should give it a couple of months" to make sure everything will go smoothly, he said.

Wilde, who is a bench jeweler at the Oneonta shop, said turnaround time for sizing a ring or making other last-minute adjustments is minimal because the store offers on-premises service. If you’re down to the wire, be sure to ask your jeweler about this _ some may send out their work, which could extend your wait.

As far as selection, Wilde recommends starting with what you already know. "Most likely (the bride has) an engagement ring _ we can offer something to go with that." He also suggested looking online or at magazines to see what catches your fancy.

Worst-case scenario tip: If your wedding bands don’t make it to the church on time, there are plenty of options. If you have time to spare, send someone to the nearest dollar store and grab some costume jewelry. The groom may not like wearing a pink rhinestone ring, but it’ll do the job.

In a pinch, the bride’s engagement ring can be recycled as her wedding band. As for the groom, ask family members or friends to lend him a ring for the ceremony. If nothing materializes, you can always fashion a ring from something _ a paper napkin, the plastic ring from a soda bottle top, florist’s wire from the bouquet, or whatever is handy.

If these tips seem a bit dire, take heart: the odds of getting stuck in all these worst-case scenarios are remote. But if you’re still worried, take a look at "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weddings" (Chronicle Books, 2004). The disasters described in this book will put any bride’s mind at ease with the knowledge that, no matter what, it probably won’t get so bad that she has to create her own wedding gown out of toilet paper. But just in case it does, she’ll be ready. And Martha Stewart would be proud.