Have you ever heard something and thought you understood it, but did not realize what was actually said until days or even years later? I recently realized something I heard 20 years ago in college. The professor was teaching us about ancient poetry and its effect on understanding the Bible. We were studying the story of Lamech in Genesis 4:23-24. Lemech’s ancestor Cain killed his brother. Cain feared that people were going to kill him and God protected Cain by threatening a seven-fold, or perfect vengeance, if anyone were to kill him. Generations later, Lamech killed a youth and told his wives that if Cain would be avenged seven-fold, then Lamech wanted to be avenged 77-fold.

The professor showed us that God’s promise of seven-fold vengeance for Cain meant perfect, complete and total vengeance. In the poetic form, Lamech should have asked for the same perfect vengeance.

There were two ways he could have asked for the same. He could have asked God for "seven-plus-one-fold" or simply said "eight-fold." In saying "seventy-seven fold," Lamech ruined the poetry, and also gave implications that he did not want God’s protection, because he was so full of hate that he felt that God’s perfect vengeance would not nearly satisfy his thirst for vengeance. Lamech wanted a ridiculous amount of vengeance, far beyond God’s infinite capability.

At this point one of my classmates raised his hand and asked, "Is that what was going on with Peter?" The teacher replied "Yes." It took me nearly 20 years to realize the impact of that question.

In Matthew 18:21, Peter asks, "How often shall I forgive my brother, up to seven times?" With our Western mind, we think numbers and take out a calculator or at least start keeping score and think, "I’ve forgiven you four times, which means that you only have three more to go." But Peter and the early readers thought about what the number implied _ "If I forgive someone, shall I forgive perfectly, completely and totally, like God does?" Peter heard Jesus say, "Forgive us our sins in the same way we forgive those who sin against us," and Peter wanted to show that he was listening. Peter expected Jesus to reply either, "Blessed are thou Simon Peter, you shall indeed forgive eight times," or in the negative, "Nay, but I say unto you, forgive seven plus one times." Maybe Peter was hoping Jesus would reply, "God’s ways are as high as the heavens, God can forgive seven times, but God understands if you cannot forgive quite as complete and total. Let God forgive seven times and you forgive the best you can." But we don’t read either idea in Verse 22.

Peter’s jaw must have dropped as he recognized Jesus using to the story of Lamech to answer. Jesus ruined the poetry and gives us an impossible challenge: Jesus says that when it comes to forgiveness, we need to out-do God, and to not only be a little more forgiving than God is, but you need to forgive so that God is baffled by the extent of your forgiveness.

What a dilemma. Our best forgiveness isn’t even a drop in the ocean of God’s love and forgiveness. Yet despite its futility, Jesus commands us do a better job than God does of forgiving. For Jesus to give us this impossible command shows the importance of forgiveness in our lives.

Are we simply to forgive and forget? No. Love and forgiveness are not sticky-sweet sentimentalism. They are strong, a spirit of wanting people to be the best that they can possibly be. It is not a loving act to encourage irresponsibility. It is not a loving act to allow people to hurt others and destroy their own character in the process. Rather than "forgive and forget," I understand the Bible to teach "Forgive, but lead them not into temptation."

We have all been hurt. In seeking revenge instead of forgiveness, we too often only cause more pain, not only to the one who hurt us, but often it hurts third parties as well as making our lives more miserable. Life becomes even worse as often we refuse to forgive ourselves.

Of eternal consequences, how will we understand God’s forgiveness? It will be absolutely awesome to see God visible, in person, in full glory at the end of time. But if we can’t understand forgiveness, no matter how kind, gracious and welcoming God is, we would feel that sooner or later God is going to get us for our sins. Instead of it being heaven to be with Jesus, our unforgiving character would turn heaven into hell. Developing a character of forgiving, even in the framework of the impossible command to try to be more forgiving than God is, can help us to realize the reality of God’s forgiveness and the presence of Jesus would be heaven to us.

Kevin Hellerud, a lay person in the Seventh-Day Adventist Church, has a master’s degree in religion from Andrews University in Michigan.