It was not with a bang or a whimper that my dream of fame and fortune went down in flames _ it was with a postcard.

I took a short vacation and went down to Manhattan in early June to audition for an appearance on the game show "Who Wants to be A Millionaire."

After standing on line for about half an hour outside the ABC building near Central Park, staff let the orderly group of about 100 would-be contestants into the building’s cafeteria, after security procedures similar to boarding an airplane.

We took two written tests, one only about movies and the other covering general trivia, and I was one of a dozen who passed the latter. While I am pretty well-versed on subjects such as geography and history, I really haven’t watched many movies with Reese Witherspoon _ the subject of one of the questions.

A smiling young woman who interviewed me said I would be hearing from the show in about two or three weeks what the next step would be.

After nearly three weeks of waiting, the good people who decide the financial future of hopeful contestants, Valleycrest Productions Ltd., broke the news to me in 45 words that anyone who picked up the mail could see.

The sentence that held my fate was, "You have not been selected to be a potential contestant."

Just like that, it was over.

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be on a game show. That is a long time to wait when you are turning 55.

It seemed that all my life, one person or another said, "You would be good on a game show."

So it seemed like it was time I took the plunge and somehow I thought that would be enough.

While I was waiting for the news, my planning was in full gear.

I had decided I would probably play until I won $50,000, if I was out of lifelines.

I didn’t want to be too greedy, and that would be a sum that could make life a little better for me and my family.

However, I was recently toying with the possibility of going for broke when the news reached me Friday.

My wife, Ellen, didn’t tell me that the card actually showed up the day before. She didn’t think I was ready for the news with the kind of day I was having.

"Was that the right thing to do?" she asked as she passed me the postcard.

The look on her face told me the news was bad _ but I read it anyway. Then I kissed her on the cheek and said, "You know me well."

As a reporter, it’s easy to place this news in perspective.

Everyone in my family is healthy, my children and stepchildren are leading happy, productive lives.

But this was something I really wanted.

In retrospect, I wondered if I was too excited during my interview. But I thought my comments about enjoying watching romantic comedies with my wife would earn some points with my interviewer.

I thought this was something show host Meredith Vieira would kid me about as she was waiting to see what my final answer would be. But that won’t be happening.

I am counting on the reality of being a father and stepfather to children ranging from 12 to 25 to take my mind off my disappointment. The demands of my job will also keep me from dwelling on what could have been.

But when I see the next contestant seated across from Meredith, it will hard not to think, "I could have been a contender."

____

Staff Writer Mark Boshnack covers public education and agriculture.