There was a harsh sound that caught Eli’s ear, the sound of bitter weeping. Shame and hurt that had been held inside for years were being poured out. Eli caught sight of a weeping woman. Then the sound of weeping faded and Eli watched her lips form words without making any sound. Eli said to the woman, "How long will you make yourself drunk?" "I am not drunk," she replied, "I am oppressed in spirit, I have poured out my soul before the Lord. It has been out of my bitterness and provocation that I have been speaking."

The woman’s name is Hannah. 1 Samuel 1:13 says that even though Hannah’s lips were moving, her voice was not heard, for she was speaking in her heart, and her heart had a lot to say.

Hannah did not understand why her womb had been shut by the Lord, or how her husband Elkanah loved her more than his other wife, Peninnah, who bore his children.

Yearly when Elkanah went to worship and sacrifice to the Lord, it was Hannah who received the double portion and Peninnah would provoke her to tears. Peninnah never felt the shame and desperation Hannah felt. Bareness brought only disgrace to the family. Hannah’s heart was grieved, and the pain was real. Watching Peninnah and Elkanah’s children only caused the wounds to go deeper, day after day year after year. Can you just imagine the state of Hannah’s heart?

There is quite a lot to be said about the heart. It is the place where we are made aware of emotions, ambitions, lusts and worth. I see people every day who are just like Hannah. They don’t understand why certain things have happened. Why have they been singled out to hurt or feel ashamed? With pain and bitterness taking up residence in their hearts, how can they ever know the love of God?

But this day was a different day for Hannah. In 1 Samuel 1:8, Elkanah, Hannah’s husband, spoke to her. He said to her "Hannah, why do you weep and not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you then 10 sons?"

As Elkanah proclaimed his love for Hannah, there was a change beginning to take place. For the first time, Hannah ate, drank, then rose and went to the temple.

It was then that Hannah poured her heart out to the Lord in the presence of Eli, the high priest. 1 Samuel 1:11 states that Hannah made a vow "O Lord of hosts, if you will answer my prayer, if you give me a son, I will give him right back to you, I will dedicate him to you, Lord." Hannah began to really understand that what comes from God belongs to God. There wasn’t a reason to feel ashamed anymore. She didn’t have to hurt. Her worth was in God. It was, "Lord, let me bear a son, a son that will totally be yours all his life."

1 Samuel 1:19-20 states that the next day, Elkanah, and his family rose early and worshiped before the Lord, then returned to their home in Ramah.

Elkanah and Hannah had relations. God gave Hannah a son, and what a son he was. Samuel the prophet, Samuel the judge of Israel. When the focus and intent were on God and his perfect will, God used a barren woman who had been hurt and felt ashamed for years to birth a mighty servant of God.

Hannah kept her vow to the Lord. Samuel was brought to the temple. In 1 Samuel 1:27, he is dedicated to the Lord. Samuel worshiped the Lord at the temple. The difference had been made in Hannah’s heart and it poured out into her life for all to see.

Let’s see what God can do with our hearts. Psalm 44:21 _ God knows the secrets of our heart. 1 Chronicles 28:9 _ God searches and knows the intent of your heart. 2 Corinthians 4:6 _ God is the one who has shone in our hearts to give the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. Ezekiel 11:19 _ I shall take out the heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

I have many times gone before the Lord with bitter weeping to be reminded it’s not about Gina and her small world, but it’s about Jesus and the whole wide world. I’ve allowed the Lord to change me and the change started where it does for all of us, right in the heart. Let’s offer our hearts today and cry out to God, "change me, it’s not about me anymore, Lord, it’s all about you."

Gina Aswad is found of Sister to Sister ministries, based in Cooperstown.