2-27-2007
Travels With Uncle Chet: Gore could win again
COLUMBUS _ Chains made all the difference on the little four-wheel-drive tractor, and in less than an hour, the latest storm was cleaned up. White piles 6 feet tall ringed the driveway, and the kids got out their sleds as I backed into the garage.
``That’s a whole lot better,’’ said Uncle Chet, who’d been shoveling around the edges. ``With those on, you can plow with the bucket, even with turf tires.’’
``Should have gotten them in the fall, but I was listening to all that talk about global warming,’’ I said as we walked to the back door.
We took off hats, coats and glasses that steamed up when we stepped into the kitchen.
``Looks much better,’’ said Hon, who was cutting up carrots and onions for the venison stew.
``Three hundred dollars worth of better, money I thought we wouldn’t have to spend,’’ I said from near the wood stove, where I was warming my posterior.
``Say what you want; global warming’s real; even that jughead from Texas admits it,’’ said Uncle Chet, who was down to his long underwear. ``But it looks like we’ll still get snow around here for a while yet.’’
``Another couple inches coming tonight,’’ I said.
``It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a like a bouncing ball,’’ he continued. ``Every time the ball rises, the oil barons say `See, it’s not so bad,’ and every time it falls, the environmentalists tell us we’re heading for hell on earth. It’s got to be confusing for a TV-aholic, but all you have to do is look at the science: The last 10 years have been the warmest in history, and the polar ice caps are melting.’’
``We’re doomed unless we re-elect President Gore,’’ I said.
``Glad to see him get that Oscar,’’ he said on his way to the refrigerator. ``With an Academy Award and maybe a Nobel Peace Prize in his pocket, he doesn’t have to start campaigning until fall.’’
``He says he’s not running,’’ Hon noted.
``He isn’t, yet,’’ said Uncle Chet, pulling out two bottles of Samuel Adams. ``And he may not run, if Obama catches fire. But look at the rest of the field. All the Republicans are war pushers. McCain truly loves it, Giuliani pretends to love it and Romney is afraid not to love it, being from Massachusetts.’’
"Seems so,’’ I said.
"And except for Obama, the Democrats aren’t much better.’’ He opened the bottles, brought one to me. ``Hillary was salivating for a troop surge before Bush announced it. Edwards is a decent guy, but he voted to bomb Iraq. So did Biden and Dodd, and they’re going to spend forever trying to talk their way out of it.’’
``Kucinich voted against the war,’’ said Hon.
``Yes, but Kucinich is like your turf tires,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``No traction, and I don’t think you can put chains on him."
``I like Obama,’’ I said. ``I heard his speech in 2004, and it was great.’’
``He’s the best of the lot,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``And you know he’d stand up to the billionaires because Fox News is trying to destroy him. My only question about him is his lack of resume. He’s a first-term senator and you wonder if he’s ready to clean up Bush’s world-class messes.’’
``Being young though, he may attract young voters,’’ said Hon, who was standing at the window watching the kids slide down a snowy hill.
``I think he and Hillary are going to cut each other up,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``If she doesn’t get it this time, she’s doomed, so she’s going to fight, and he’ll fight back. Six, seven months from now, when everyone’s getting sick of the infighting, tired of Edwards’ inscrutable health plan, I think the draft-Gore movement will look pretty good.’’
``Does Gore even want to run?’’ I said. ``He looks so relaxed these days. Why would he want to take over when the country’s broke, stuck in Iraq, drowning in corruption? Why exchange the good life for an impossible, thankless job?’’
``Only one reason,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``The man’s an American patriot, and it’s got to almost kill him to see what’s being done in our name. He’s the anti-Bush and he knows it. When they were young, one opposed the Vietnam War but went anyway when his country called. The other was a cheerleader from the sidelines but wouldn’t risk his own neck.
"Thirty-five years later, Bush lied and got us stuck in Baghdad; Gore spoke out against this war, too, before it started. It’s the same with other issues. Bush looks after the wealth of insurance companies; Gore wants a single-payer system to insure the health of people. Or look what happened when Katrina hit New Orleans. With black Americans drowning, Bush went off to play guitar, told Brownie he was doing a great job, but Gore rented two planes and started flying refugees off the levees.
``And after five robed Republicans robbed him in 2000, Gore didn’t go home and sulk,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``He started waking people up to the fact they’re frying the planet.
``So, I’ll predict this: If Obama isn’t leading in the polls by November, Gore’s going to jump in, and this time they won’t stop him from taking office.’’
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Cooperstown News Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace’s column appears twice monthly.