COLUMBUS _ Uncle Chet has a green thumb, so we invited him and Alice over to help build our raised-bed vegetable garden.

We got some rough-cut 2-by-12s and cut out three 4-foot by 8-foot frames. As we set them out in the sunny backyard, our overseer noted, ``That’s really not enough area to feed a family of four.’’

``Any more space and we won’t bother to weed it,’’ I said.

``You could do one more section; you’ve got the wood,’’ he persisted.

``Don’t be so bossy,’’ said Alice, and he let the matter drop.

``Now we’ve got to get the manure,’’ said Hon, who had hitched a wagon to the four-wheeler.

``I want to drive,’’ said Buddy as his favorite toy idled nearby.

``I’ll drive,’’ said his mother. She put two shovels in the cart and off they went, winding through the side yard on the way to the neighbor’s dairy farm.

``It must be something else having a wife willing to shovel manure,’’ Uncle Chet remarked as they disappeared from view.

``I’ll handle the next load,’’ I said, picking up the wood-working tools.

``At least you’re using that machine for something other than running in circles,’’ he noted, lugging the circular saw for me.

``Careful,’’ the little miscreant called from the driveway, where she was practicing her jump shot. ``I like to drive it in circles down in the field.’’

``You’re catching if from all sides, today,’’ I observed as we entered the garage and Alice went to play basketball.

``I feel like Ron Paul the other night,’’ said Uncle Chet.

``Who’s Ron Paul?’’

``An endangered species, an honest Republican running for president.’’

``Never heard of him.’’ I said.

``He’s a congressman from Texas, and at the second debate, he dared admit that 9/11 was blowback from American policy.’’

``Blowback?’’

``You know, something that blows up in your face’’ said Uncle Chet. ``He said 9/11 was a reaction to keeping our military in the Mideast, propping up dictators, leaving oil companies free to plunder. According to Paul, some of the Arabs don’t like that.’’

``He doesn’t sound very Republican to me,’’ I said and we headed back to the yard.

``That’s what the rest of them must have thought. They were trying to out-tough each other, foaming at the mouth over torture when Paul said `there’s a strong tradition of being anti-war in the Republican Party.’’’

``What drug is he on?’’

``No drug; he just knows a little history,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``Wasn’t Nixon elected to end the Vietnam War ... even though he didn’t? Wasn’t Eisenhower elected to end the Korean War? And remember when Ike left office, he warned about the military-industrial complex?’’

``True, but Reagan was always talking war,’’ I said as Hon and Buddy chugged into view. ``Calling the Soviets an evil empire, attacking Grenada, pushing for more missiles all the time.’’

``Reagan’s the turning point,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``Then we had Papa Bush, war profiteer, and now with Baby Bush, Republican tradition is out the window. The party’s been taken over by the underworld, bosses like Rove and Cheney calling the shots and errand boys like Gonzales twisting arms in the ICU. And from what I saw the other night, the next Republican president, except Paul, would make even this one look tame.’’

``I don’t think we’re going Republican next time,’’ I said.

``Unless the Democrats nominate Hillary,’’ he said, grabbing a shovel as Hon backed up to the first garden bed.

``She’s way out front,’’ I noted.

``Who? Me?’’ said Hon. ``Do you want me to back up more?’’

``We’re talking about Hillary,’’ I said.

``We’re talking about manure,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``There was a load of it on Fox TV the other night.’’

``Well, this stuff looks pretty well-rotted,’’ I dug in with a long-handled shovel.

``There’s no smell,’’ she said and got off the four-wheeler.

``And in the middle of that manure, there was a revelation,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``And his name is Ron Paul.’’

``Who’s Ron Paul?’’ said Hon.

``He’s the Republican’s Mike Gravel,’’ he said. ``An honest guy who’s probably a million-to-one.’’

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Cooperstown News Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace’s column appears twice monthly.