6-19-2007
Travels With Uncle Chet: Health care in U.S. is ’muy loco"
COLUMBUS _ ``Will someone please speak to me in Spanish?’’ asked the little miscreant, who was practicing for her big test.
``心i,’’’ I said from under the sink where I was tightening a coupling.
``心i’? Is that the best you can do?’’ She glowered down at me.
``心i.’’’
``心i,’ what? Do you think you could put two words together? I’m supposed to take an oral exam tomorrow.’’
``Ask Mom,’’ I grunted.
``心enora Mama.’’’
``What she really needs is to go some place where they speak Spanish,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``She’d pick it up fast, then.’’
``How sending me to about Puerto Rico for a month?’’ our 13-year-old appealed to him.
``Me, too!’’ said Buddy.
``Me, three,’’ said Hon. ``When do we go?’’
``Puerto Rico would be nice,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``Or Mexico, or Spain, almost anywhere except Cuba.’’
``Why not Cuba?’’ asked our soon-to-be ninth-grader.
``The Bush administration doesn’t want Americans to see Cuba,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``They might get some big ideas.’’
``Not Bush again,’’ said the girl. ``I need Spanish now, not social studies.’’
``But it’s true; 親s verdad,’’’ said Uncle Chet. ``The Cubans have a better health-care system than the United States, and you can be sure the crooks in Washington don’t want you to know it. How could they explain that in Cuba, they spend $230 per person per year and everyone is covered?’’
``We’re spending more than that every two weeks,’’ I said.
``Are you sure of that number?’’ asked Hon.
``It was in The New York Times last week, and I’ve seen it before,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``The Cubans, on $230 per capita, keep their little island just as healthy, or perhaps a little healthier, than the United States, where we spend more than $6,000 per person.’’
``Hard to believe,’’ I said.
``And seeing is believing; that’s why Americans can’t go to Cuba,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``If the government lifted its travel ban, we’d have health-care reform in six months because we’d see that Cuban health care costs a fraction of the insurance-company plan and works better.’’
``There.’’ I crawled out from under the sink. ``I don’t think that’ll drip anymore.’’
``It must be single-payer, like Canada,’’ asked Hon.
``Espaol. I need some espaol,’’ said the little miscreant.
``Si, single-payer,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``And everything’s covered. Let’s say you have a 薪olor de cabeza,’’’ he said.
``Headache,’’ said the little miscreant.
``You can go to the 仁edico, y costo nada,’’’ he said. ``Now there. How about that?’’
``You can go to the doctor and it doesn’t cost anything,’’ the girl translated. ``職s tremendo!’’’
``Because everyone chips in a little with taxes, and they don’t have to support a huge insurance industry,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``That’s what wrong with our health-care system. We’re letting the bean counters run it instead of the doctors and nurses. In the United States, who decides how long you stay in the hospital?’’
``It’s up to your insurance plan,’’ said Hon.
``And who decides which procedures are medically necessary?’’ said Uncle Chet. ``Once again, it’s the insurance companies. And who decides how much your prescriptions will cost? There it’s the drug companies and the insurance companies. And they’re not setting prices in the interest of good health; they’re charging as much as they can get away with.
``But in England, France, Germany, Canada, Iceland, Spain, Italy, Cuba, everywhere that people eat three meals a day, they’ve cut out the middleman. Your health care is between you and your doctor, not you and some bloated billing agency.’’
I turned on the kitchen sink faucet, knelt down to check for drips. ``Where do you get all this information?’’ I asked him.
``I’ve been reading about 心icko,’ Michael Moore’s new movie,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``In part of it, he takes some sick 9/11 rescue workers down to Cuba for treatment because they can’t get it here, and now Bush is after him.’’
``職s estupido!’’’ said the little miscreant.
``職s loco!’’’ I said.
``And if the government doesn’t ban this movie, like trips to Cuba, it should be fun to watch,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``It’s supposed to open June 29.’’
___
Cooperstown News Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace’s column appears twice monthly.
