"Oh, that's so gay!"

Suppose you're the teacher. What do you do?

According to the kids I've spoken to, you probably don't do anything. You pretend you didn't hear anything and go about your business.

Same scenario, except instead of hearing the word, "gay," you hear "nigger."

Same kids — same teacher — far different reaction. Whoever said the "N-word" is going to be dealt with — and swiftly.

For some reason, the word "gay" has become the pejorative word of choice among middle schoolers and high schoolers throughout our area.

"That's so gay." "That's really gay." "You're so gay."

It has become so prevalent that not only students, but teachers have become inured to the fact that the kids mean it to be a slur.

"Queer" is heard less often, but it is heard, as are "Jew" and other names.

All slurs have at least one thing in common. They undermine the moral lessons schools and society try to teach.

It has nothing to do with political correctness and everything to do with basic dignity and helping our young people become better human beings than we are.

Scott Rabeler, principal at Oneonta High School, is aware of the problem.

"I hear it fairly frequently in the halls," he said. "I'll usually stop the kid who said it and tell him that it's not appropriate. Most of our students would be appalled if someone used the 'N-word,' but they don't even think twice about using 'gay.'"

Rabeler is aware that for some of his students, the continuing use of "gay" as something awful can have a debilitating effect.

"Statistics show that 7 to 10 percent of all people in society are gay," Rabeler said. "If that's true, then gays probably constitute the largest minority population in our school. Kids are struggling with their sexual identities at that age, and I'm sure hearing 'gay' used that way is an issue for them."

Of course, it's not just an issue in Oneonta. The same usage can be heard in every middle school and high school in our area. I asked one teacher at Oxford if she hears it at her school.

"Yes," she said.

I asked if she does anything about it.

"Well, no," she said. "Not usually. You hear it so much."

I asked if she would act differently if she were hearing the "N-word." Of course she would, she said, then seemed to realize that she should be doing something about the "gay" situation, too.

Trying to do something about the "gay" situation in Oneonta is Dr. Christopher Wolf-Gould, a member of PFLAG — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

"I see it as a big problem," said Wolf-Gould. "Language is very important, and putting people down with the language kids use can be very damaging."

Wolf-Gould and Rabeler said they plan to have PFLAG representatives talk to faculty members in the fall. Rabeler said it would be a continuation of an anti-bullying program begun at the school two years ago.

Oneonta Superintendent James Piscitelli also recognizes there is a problem.

"Our faculty should not be tolerant of students using "gay" in that manner," he said. "It is unacceptable at our schools. Students have to be aware that we have a code of conduct and that we have ways of penalizing them with detentions and suspensions."

But that's not nearly enough.

At least in Oneonta, there isn't any set procedure for how teachers and other school officials are to react when they hear "gay" used as a put-down. Before we can educate and enlighten our children, we need to educate and enlighten the teachers.

And especially the parents.

I wonder how many of our very-liberal parents would be horrified to learn that their children are being so callous toward a minority group.

I wonder how many of our very-conservative parents who champion American values would be horrified that their kids are engaging in such anti-American behavior.

But we all say, our children would never do such a thing. We've taught them better than that.

So, it must be everybody else's kids.

Sam Pollak is editor of The Daily Star. He can be reached at (607) 441-7208 or at spollak@thedailystar.com .