George, there’s no sense in beating around the bush. No pun intended there, George.

George, we’re going to have to let you go.

No, George, you’re not exactly fired. It’s more like we’re not going to give you another four-year contract when this one expires in January.

Don’t look so puzzled, George. You can’t tell me you didn’t see this coming. We’ve made no secret about how unhappy we’ve been with your work performance, yet you have persistently refused to adjust and improve.

Face it, George, you’re a real stubborn guy. Nobody can tell you anything. Oh, I’ll be the first to admit that probably half the people around here think you’re a real likable guy.

But the other half hate your guts, George.

Why?

George, do we really have to go through all the reasons? Wouldn’t you rather just take your severance package and go back to Texas and retire? I have to add, George, that it’s quite a package. You get a lot of money, a staff to help you write your memoirs or anything else you want to do, and Secret Service protection for the rest of your life.

You still want reasons? OK then, you asked for it.

For most of your first year, you had a hard time convincing folks you weren’t ineffectual. Then came 9/11, and while your initial reaction left a lot to be desired, once your handlers got ahold of you, you did a splendid job of rallying the country.

You had a good plan for invading Afghanistan to get at the perpetrators of the attacks on our country, and we had the support of almost the whole world.

But you blew it, George.

You lost your focus. For some reason, you were more concerned about bringing down Saddam Hussein than Osama bin Laden.

Saddam and Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, George, and we’re going broke fighting your war. More importantly, more than 1,100 Americans have been killed, more than 8,000 wounded, and we’ve ended the lives of I don’t know how many Iraqi civilians.

Oh, and by the way, George, we haven’t caught Osama yet, have we? And reports are that al-Qaida is getting stronger every day because the Muslim world is furious at us over Iraq.

Most of the rest of the planet despises us, too, George, and it’s because you squandered all that goodwill from 9/11 by your arrogant, go-it-alone foreign policy.

Look George, this isn’t any fun for me, and I’m sure it isn’t for you. Why not just go back to that nice ranch in Crawford and take it easy for a while?

More? You want to hear more? All right, but stay calm. You know how your temper gets when your decisions are questioned even a little bit.

Let’s start with that. You promised to bring the country together after the 2000 election, yet you’ve done the exact opposite. Your government has been astoundingly secretive.

You’ve nearly doubled the number of classified documents, urged agencies to refuse Freedom of Information Act requests and invoked executive privilege wherever possible.

Only industry lobbyists and their supporters were at the table when you discussed our country’s energy policy. The result of Vice President Cheney’s energy task force was billions in subsidies to energy companies, weakened pollution laws, and wilderness areas exploited.

The pharmaceutical companies have been major donors to you and your party, George. What other reason could you have for keeping drugs made in America from being re-imported from Canada?

You let the polluters write our environmental laws. You promised massive funds to fight AIDS in Africa and haven’t produced them. You also didn’t fund "No Child Left Behind."

Need I go on, George?

All right, if you say so.

You caved in to a religious minority opinion and severely limited promising embryonic stem cell research. You called for a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage when you know it has no chance of passing — just to appeal to your right-wing base.

You took an economy with huge budget surpluses and now we owe, big-time. Your tax cuts benefited the rich far more than anybody else, and now we have a deficit of $422 billion and a national debt of $7.42 trillion.

That’s a lot of money, George. A fiscal conservative, you’re not. You haven’t vetoed even one spending bill in four years.

Shame on you, George.

Instead of being what you called a "compassionate conservative," you’ve nominated a series of far-right-wing judges. We shudder to think about what the Supreme Court would be like if you got to nominate a few of those justices.

Now, don’t take this so hard, George. You can apply again in four years. Grover Cleveland did it in the late 1800s and got his job back, so it can be done.

Meanwhile, we’re sure you’re going to land on your feet somewhere. But I wouldn’t advise asking us for a letter of recommendation. Let us know if you find work., OK?

Goodbye, George.

Sam Pollak is editor of The Daily Star. He can be reached at spollak@thedailystar.com or at (607) 432-1000, ext. 208.