I’ve got a short fuse and was angry about not going 3-0 last week, but as always I managed to mask the pain by taking delight in the misery of others. I sometimes hang out in the dentist’s office and watch as people pay their bills.

Speaking of misery, did you see the recent film clip of Paul Hornung? If not, I implore you to do so. Wearing a blazer and looking sharp, the 70-year-old Notre Dame legend was giving an inspirational talk at a school pep rally when, without warning, his trousers dropped to his ankles. The audience promptly doubled over and was spitting up lunch. Hornung quickly hiked up his drawers and acted like nothing happened. Good stuff. I felt better instantly.

Anyway, the bankroll took a hit last week when the Cardinals were mauled by the Raiders, overshadowing victories with the Giants and Patriots. Here are Week 8’s top selections:

Giants (-9) over Buccaneers

Just to clear the air, I don’t think Tiki Barber’s decision to retire is a distraction to the Giants and that he is not quitting on his team. He seemed to get pretty hot-headed about the subject on his radio show the other day as he yelled at a lot of people. I have all the enemies I want. By the way, this line is way low. I’ll wager $35.

Cowboys (+5) over Panthers

Either Bill Parcells heard me screaming from the upper deck or he made an independent decision when he decided that Tony Romo should be his answer at QB. Romo’s even friends with T.O., and that can’t hurt. As it turns out, Drew Bledsoe’s detractors weren’t only in the cheap seats. The locker room apparently was crawling with them. I’ll wager $30.

Cardinals (+4) over Packers

If Arizona QB Matt Leinart doesn’t spend too much time coochie-cooing his new kid and decides to put in enough study time, even he should get big-time yards against these guys. After all, Joey Harrington had 400-plus against Green Bay in Week 7. I’ll wager $40.