I’m glad I didn’t jump off the local bridge before the Eagles and Giants played last Sunday. I can swim, but it turns out the river is a sheet of ice and I can’t skate. Plus, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the ending to my only victory of the weekend. And especially Tom Coughlin’s postgame press conference.

The way things have been going with the bankroll, I should have gnashed my teeth to the nubs by now if my mouth weren’t full of crow from mocking Jeff Garcia a couple of weeks ago. I’m not used to jumping on someone with both boots and then watching them get to their feet. For now on, I’ll stick to taking cheap shots at guys like Joey Harrington, Rick Mirer and old-time Redskin Dexter Manley, who are hopelessly no good or won’t ever read this column.

Last week, in addition to picking the Eagles, I was off the mark with the Vikings and Dolphins. Here are the picks for Week 16. And to those who wish me happy holidays, happy holidays to you, too.

Saints (+3) over Giants

There is a Meadowlands mystique this time of year, with the Giants and Jets going 15-8 against the spread the past five seasons. But with the temperature expected to be near 50, that’s almost like when the Superdome air is on full blast. The Saints won’t be affected and aren’t going to ease off the throttle until they earn a playoff bye. I’ll wager $30.

Redskins (+1.5) over Rams

Yeah, right. The Rams got a shutout last week in Oakland. And I almost got all of my selections correct. Upon closer inspection, the Raiders got inside St. Louis’ 35 on four occasions, and twice couldn’t score from inside the 15. Put in even Al Davis at QB and maybe it would have been a lot closer. I’ll wager $20.

Chargers (-4.5) over Seahawks

San Diego’s Philip Rivers and his teammates are on a beeline to the first seed in the AFC, but it’s like they’re driving in a blizzard. As long as Indianapolis is on their heels, they’ll have both hands on the wheel and stay focused. That’s not so with the Seahawks, who aren’t yet in danger of spinning out of playoff control. I’ll wager $15.